Why Girls Walk Away When They Like You

Have you Ever spoken to a girl… She laughs, or smiles … and then walks away?? What is their PROBLEM?? This used to really frustrate me a LOT – more than frustrate, this used to kill me.

I’d lay in bed at night thinking … WHY?? I know she liked me. What is going on?

Well – it’s taken me a year and a half, and a ton of interactions. But I think I’ve figured it out – for the most part. Here are a few some reasons women may not stop to have a chat. The first few a fairly obvious… the last few I’m going to discuss in detail…

  • Sometimes girls have somewhere to be
  • Sometimes they have boyfriends and are just not interested in flirting
  • Some girls are just scared and/or taught not to talk to men they don’t know
  • Some girls don’t know how to react to being picked up in broad daylight
  • Some girls are afraid of messing up the interaction
  • Some girls don’t want to feel slutty by being picked up easily
  • These are all fine and dandy. But what about when they obviously like you… What about when they give you clear signals and still walk away?

    Here’s a crazy thought. What if the very reason they’re not stopping to talk to us is because they might be ATTRACTED?

    WHAT?? Sounds counter-intuitive right? Surely if someone LIKES you they would want to talk to you?? Nope – not necessarily!

    Here’s the meat of it – girls simply do not know how to react when a guy hits on them on the street, in broad daylight. It’s not really in their reality to BE picked up by a guy (no matter how cute/interesting/funny/whatever) in broad daylight. It’s out of their comfort zone. In fact, if they found you clearly unattractive in a lot of cases the conversation may actually last longer. They’re not initially as nervous to talk to you whatsoever and a lot of girls will have a chat. But if you’re cute and you’re flirty of the top – they may very well simply just run away. This used to drive me CRAZY until I actually figure out what was going on.

    Here’s the rub: Sometimes they’ll walk away because they are interested and are afraid that they may actually say the wrong thing and mess it up. Sound crazy?

    Let me ask you this: How many times have you opened a hot girl in a club – I mean a really hot girl: It’s going ok and as soon as you get a bit of some sort of negative (or even perceived) negative feedback you bail out? Maybe she just gives you a funny look, or doesn’t reply to your question and you excuse yourself? Why? Because you were afraid of being blown out. Well guess what: Women are just as afraid of being blown out if they are attracted to you! Many will AVOID talking to you altogether because they are out of their comfort zone and don’t want to get blown out!

    Have you ever had a girl that you like hit on you and you totally messed it up because you were so surprised, you didn’t know what to do in the moment? Women are no different in this respect – especially in the day time.

    Think about it – what are they used to? Where are women in comfortable and in command? Nightclubs, of course.

    They’re all dressed up. They’ve got makeup on. It’s dark. They look hot. Guys are hitting on them, buying them drinks right, left and centre. They know how to handle themselves. A 19 year old girl has been hit on hundreds of times already. Every attractive girl in the club is in her element. They thrive in the club. They’re not even part of the matrix – they are the matrix. Everything in the club revolves around the women. All the men are there, all the drinks are sold, all everything that goes down in that clubs is for them and they know it!

    So if they don’t want to talk to you it’s very easy for them to dismiss you. They can ignore you, or make a bitchy face, just turn to their friends. Or they can outright tell you to piss off.

    But – on the street. They got nothing. No defenses, friends, no fallbacks. They haven’t got the power. The only thing they can do is just pretend it didn’t happen and keep walking. Or just smile and keep moving. Or mutter “thanks!” and just run along. Pretty lame huh? But that’s how they deal with it quite frequently. I have to say it, but most women have little game and simply lack the tools to deal with the situation. Why would they have game, they’ve never had to make an approach their entire lives!

    Another key reason that women (while giving you signals that she likes you) will still walk away from you is this:

    Most women aren’t looking to get laid by anyone new.

    I know – it hurts. I wish it weren’t that way. But they’re not. MOST hot girls either have a boyfriend, or at least one or two guys they are sleeping with. That’s just the cold hard reality of it. At the absolute least there are several guys hanging around her or guy “Friends” that are trying to sleep with her. So when she sees you she’s not thinking “hey maybe this is an amazing guy I could date” … usually it doesn’t even cross their mind. The only way to make them want YOU is for them to get to know you. And for this to happen, you need to have a nice, long chat with them – before they can get away!

    Now – of course I’ve come up with a few tactics that minimize their ability to walk away. Nothing fancy but they work. Let’s get down to it.

    1. Don’t just start talking to them about any random bullshit when you approach them. This is a spot where “situational openers” fail terribly. If a woman is on the move (see walking) don’t use a situational opener. Even if it’s absolutely brilliant. I’ve said the absolutely perfect, most hilarious thing to many a beauty – only to have them laugh out loud and keep walking. Of course you can chase after them but it’s an uphill battle (more on that later) … don’t be a bitch – open them direct so they either talk to you or blow you out. This is not the time for situational stuff. It’s great when it works or if they are immobile but forget it if they’re moving. If you want to go indirect – that’s fine too, but just stay away from the situational stuff for girls on the move.
    2. Touchy touchy! INSTA kino. I’m not talking about sexual touch here – just a friendly touch on the elbow to get their attention. Once again if you just start talking – no matter how brilliant the words coming out of your mouth are – they may just act like they didn’t hear it and keep walking. Or they may actually not hear you – or not be sure you’re even talking to them. They don’t know you – maybe you were talking to someone else? They’re in a rush! They’ve got places to be – so why stop to inquire what you’re on about? Maybe you’re a crazy person. Better to keep walking. However if you TOUCH them and start talking they CANNOT ignore you. They just can’t. They can’t pretend they don’t know you’re talking to them. To keep walking would just be a huge social faux pas which again people are trained not to commit. She HAS to talk to you. Even if all she says is “piss off!” … I’ll take that over being ignored any day. At least it counts as an interaction. And it gives me something to joke around about with my buddies!
    3. Physically get in their way and prevent them from leaving. That’s right. I said it! I’ve experimented on loads of different ways of stopping girls and this is actually the most effective. Especially if you are struggling with getting girls to stop … trying this is an absolute must! Now, don’t just jump out in front of them. That’s liable to get you kicked in the nuts! But, just overtake them from the side, step RIGHT in front of them as you grab their shoulder and …. Say what you gotta say! Now, this doesn’t guarantee she won’t walk away – but it DOES virtually guarantee they’ll HEAR the opener – and know you’re talking to them. If they still make a move… if you’ve gotten any signs she’s interested (“IOIs”) – you RE OPEN! (that means a laugh, a smile, a look. ANY excuse. RE OPEN!

    Right – so – once you stop them and touch them, you just have to get them TALKING! The opener almost doesn’t matter so long as you’re smiling and have a good fun vibe. It helps if you are calm and collected. There’s a billion openers online. Try a few out or just go with “Hi – I’m xxx – I just thought you looked adorable/friendly/interesting and I wanted to meet you. What are you up to today?”

    Now a LOT of girls are going to try and get away from you right there – THIS is the time to plow, see? Because if they cut the thread and leave at this point – it’s not because they don’t like YOU. They don’t even KNOW you. So you gotta suck them in to give yourself a shot.

    PUA (kino) “Hi – You’re so hot you just made me shit my pants. You owe me $4 for new underwear!!”

    Hb – “haha you’re crazy!” (turns to walk off)

    Sasha “Hey wait – I just HAVE to know your name!”

    Hb – I’m Christiana

    Sasha (extends hand) “Cool name. I’m Sasha. Let me guess….. you’re frommmm……. Nigeria right?”

    Christana “What?? I’m from here. I’m white, are you crazy?”

    Sasha “hehe I know. I just wanted to see you smile. You’ve got a great smile. Where are you going?”

    Christiana “Oh I’m going to meet my friend!”

    Sasha “Cool. I just came from the gym. You won’t believe what happened to me – I joined a gay gym! I’m the only straight guy in there! Every time I bend over…”

    BooM! I’m away. The key is getting past the critical moment at the beginning where THE MAJORITY of girls try and get away. Not to brag, but I’m a good looking guy. I dress press pretty funky most of the time. And guess what? Most gorgeous girls try and walk away from me around HALF the time. You just have to TALK. Open your mouth and let ‘er rip! That’s all it takes. Don’t do anything retarded – and TALK! That example up there is a simple one – that’s pretty much how the start of most of my sets go. I open direct with something funny – the girls laugh, or say “thanks” and try and walk off. Either way I demand their name… then I’ll just assume something about them. Maybe call it a cold read or whatever… Then just see what they’re up to … If they tell me I take that as an invitation to tell them what I’m up to. Then I’ll go into one of my hook stories. If you don’t know what hook stories are go and read my “hook theory” article.

    But there you have it: GIRLS WHO LIKE YOU WILL WALK AWAY FROM YOU ALL THE TIME.

    Go after them.

    Now – the next thing. Sometimes they’ll laugh and you’ll ask their name and they’ll just say “I’ve got to go I’m late!” u know what u do? You RE OPEN!

    That’s right! Just chase after them. If they’re late, you say “No problem. I’ll escort you!”

    Usually I’ll just yell crazy ass shit at them.

    “You don’t think it’s that easy to get away from me, do you?? It’s love at first sight!”

    “I thought we were going to start a family!!”

    “I won’t hit you anymore, I swear!”

    “Think of the kids!!”

    “How do you know I’m not the one!?”

    If they LAUGH or look back, I’ll chase after them and re-open. If they completely don’t react I may let it go. That’s just my personal thing though – being a comedian I’m always screening for girls that find me funny. If they don’t, it’s a real turn off so sometimes I simply won’t bother. But, I always, always test to see if they’re cool. If they give me IOIs, great. If I think I’ve got a shot, I go for it and re-open! (And often I go for it even when I don’t think I’ve got a shot!)

    But remember: girls walking away from you in the day time means NOTHING if it’s right after your opener. WHAT the girl does is just as important as WHEN she does it. If she walks away after your opener, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you. If you talk to her for a few minutes and then she walks away – that’s a much better indicator that she may not be interested. This is very similar to something I wrote in a previous article. I wrote that if a woman tells you she has a boyfriend immediately at the beginning of the interaction it means almost nothing – as it can (and probably is) her standard line to get rid of guys. But if she talks to you for 10 minutes and it comes up, it’s probably true. Do you see the difference?

    So, if you’ve spoken to a woman for a couple of minutes and they walk away – it’s a little more significant. Even then that happens; you can still apply everything that I’ve just said. You may have said one thing they didn’t like. Maybe she really is late for something. Maybe she just didn’t know how to deal with you and it was easier to walk off. REEEEEE-OPEN!

    You know all those typical scenarios in romance movies and films: Where the guy is after the girl and she doesn’t like him but he keeps on and on and on and eventually she relents and he gets his way? Guess what folks: that isn’t just Hollywood bullshit. That’s one aspect of male/female relations that Hollywood is not romanticizing. THAT’S HOW IT WORKS! The man chases the woman. And one thing I’ve figured out from my many interactions with women is this: their respect for you goes UP when you really persist and try and get the girl. A giggle and a back turn means try again. A laugh and a smile as they walk away means “I AM NOT EASY! TRY HARDER”

    The “anti slut defense” which has been written about much in the community applies during the day. By showing interest in you too easily, they feel slutty. This is one of the primary reasons girls run away from you as you approach. They don’t want to feel that you’ve won them over easily!

    They just want to feel special. They want to feel that you really want THEM! Remember my personal motto – NO MEANS NOW! That’s right – if she says no STRAIGHT away, re-open her NOW! Believe me, when they won’t want to talk to you anymore, they’ll let you know.

    Sometimes I have re opened a woman up to FOUR TIMES (could have been five) before getting her number. But, every time she was smiling, and walking away. Remember: only do this if you are still getting IOIs. If she makes a grumpy face and tells you to fuck off… Well, that means it’s time for your next approach ;)

    The moral of the story is this… Girls walking away from you is NOT always an indicator of disinterest. And the way to find out for sure is… RE-OPEN! What are you worried about? What, they might walk away from you a second time? Who cares? Don’t you want to KNOW if you can get her? If you’ve put the time and effort into going out there and actually approach women that you don’t know… surely you want to put in 100%? I can’t stress how important this concept is – GIVE IT YOUR ALL! Do you know what that means? It means

    Good luck, and happy hunting!

    p.s Can you guess what 2 words come out of my mouth the MOST on bootcamp? Oh man… you guys catch on fast… ;)

    If you want to get some really sick daygame tips for free, make sure to sign up to my list on http://www.sashapua.com/get-my-free-video-series-the-7-steps-to-the-perfect-approach

    Sasha Daygame

    26 Responses to “Why Girls Walk Away When They Like You”

    1. [...] RAA – Reverse approach anxiety. This is when a chick goes weird when you go direct on her. Even though she likes you. Basically, girls don’t know how to react sometimes when they like a guy – and they go funky on ya. You may think this means they don’t like. But some of the time – you’d be wrong! This term is based on my article entitled “why girls walk away when they like you” – here’s the link: http://www.sashapua.com/articles/why-girls-walk-away-when-they-like-you.html [...]

    2. Pua Lingo – this site is awesome! | Sasha PUA on January 23rd, 2010 at 5:25 am
    3. Reverse Approach Anxiety (RAA) | PUA Lingo on January 29th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
    4. Nice, I number closed an 18yo today in a candy shop, when i go out in the day – i feel like a hunter! thanks sasha

    5. Douche on February 23rd, 2010 at 12:22 am
    6. Hey Doucheface. nice to see you’re still following my blog. haha – I guess you’re kidding. But it could happen. They do like their candy… ;)

      x

    7. Sasha Pua on February 25th, 2010 at 8:18 pm
    8. [...] [...]

    9. Why Girls Walk Away When They Like You on April 5th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
    10. hey buddy, I get this problem all the time too, even when i eventually break the girl and start dating her she admitted that the reason she refused to talk to me/return my texts etc was that “she liked me” crazy ass bitches!

      right my problem right now is im trying to get it one with a hot 10 who initially responded well to my advances, i met her again after the initial meet but she was out with her friends and i was a little drunk, we spent an hour together then she dropped me off on her way back with her friends, since then we were in contact for a while, trying to arrange a meet but we never got around to it…

      one evening when i was a little tipsy i told her via facebook chat that she was beautiful and she might be the one! lol! shit… i think this scared her off, she hasnt responded to messages since… i stopped messaging her for 2 months and recently sent her a little message “how are you” but heard nothing.

      how can i get over this, i know she likes me, she is being stubborn…. do i neg her? do i put up pics of me and a hot date?

    11. george on June 24th, 2010 at 10:18 pm
    12. Semi-Direct: The Solution to the Direct vs. Indirect Debate | PUA, Pick up artist, Sasha offering PUA training | Sasha PUA on September 29th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
    13. Sasha,
      I’m getting this a ton. What have you learned since you wrote the article that helped you overcome the need for this?I say this because Yad said something like 80% of the girls will want to stop and chat on the podcast

    14. fernando on October 23rd, 2010 at 11:02 am
    15. haha sasha your fucking funny as hell!!!!! love it bro

    16. patrick on December 20th, 2010 at 5:18 pm
    17. Ugh, same thing i was just thinking recently! I believe the reason they walk away is they DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO, and it FEELS awkward And THEY don’t want to MESS UP the MOMENT…and you have to RE-ENGAGE!

    18. Gambit on December 28th, 2010 at 1:38 am
    19. Hey Sasha great article, im from London and quite new to this stuff, can you give me some examples of ioi’s???

    20. Richard on December 28th, 2010 at 7:31 pm
    21. Hey buddy! Glad you liked the article. I think i really covered them – Girls looks over, smiles, or obviously turns away to avoid your eye contact…. those are the most obvious. There are more subtle ones too – maybe adjusting/playing with their hair or touching a part of themselves…. go with your gut feelings as they are usually correct. But – if you really like’em, re-open them anyways. You’re the man – be a man and go for it! She’s not going to jump on you, and have her way with you. Stop being a pussy ;)

    22. Sasha Pua on December 31st, 2010 at 2:55 pm
    23. Gambit: Yea exactly dude. I mean, I’m not saying it’s not the only reason. Some girls just aren’t interested…. but a whole shitload of girls who smile/laugh and walk off just don’t know how to react. Maybe up to like 70%. It’s a lot. I can’t count the number of times women have walked off, and then I’ve just re-opened them and they were totally cool talking to me / giving me their number etc…… happens all the time. Re opening at least 1 time should be standard for anyone who wants results. :)

    24. Sasha Pua on December 31st, 2010 at 3:21 pm
    25. This happened to me last night, all night at a club she was giving IOI’s, but towards the end all she did was avoid me, so i pulled the cat string, and just ignored her, completely, and she ended up playing me back. I thought she wasnt interested, but every time I got her attention she looked for a while and a long while, before walking away.

    26. Fizz on April 16th, 2011 at 10:13 am
    27. Ok… was there in a question in there or what? not sure what you’re saying dude!

    28. Sasha Pua on April 16th, 2011 at 10:18 pm
    29. Yep, and I believe us guys should have an arsenal of “Social Helpers” to help overcome any awkwardness, caused by girls’ low social skills in combination with our own issues.

    30. hypnologic on April 24th, 2011 at 2:05 pm
    31. I just had a brief look at this article and a few videos, you seem to have a nice attitude towards picking up girls and such, being charming, chatty and humorous, which is nice to see, unlike the majority who tends to (i believe) go for the overly confident, alpha kind-a-guy, you’re probably familiar with it.

      Anyway, i’m definitely going to have a serious look your website here, it seems great!

      Those are my ten cents, keep going!

      Good thoughts from Gus, Denmark!

    32. Gus on December 16th, 2011 at 10:13 pm
    33. Thanks Sasha, This had been a big sticking point for me. Now my screening for them is they have to walk away at least once.

    34. Tony Panini on June 26th, 2012 at 11:30 pm
    35. Hey Sasha I’ve been told this girl likes me and I like her too but she has never had a bf well me neither so I talked to her and she did the exact thing you said and went away… I said hi and she said hey and I said what’s wrong and she said I’m cold and I said why you still out here and then she just walked off into the building … I have confidence to talk to her now but I’m not that funny so what should I do instead of being funny and she has 14 sisters so she has no experiences with boys what to do

    36. Daaamn it's hot on March 6th, 2013 at 5:40 am
    37. Hey bro, I’d say just try talking to her again and try to show some curiosity/interest in her. Don’t worry about being funny just CONNECT…. sounds like she may be shy so just be prepared to do most of the talking for the first while (so have something interesting to talk about ready!) :)

      S

    38. Admin on March 16th, 2013 at 5:15 am
    39. Do girls ever think your name is odd when you hit on them or say its a girls name? I know it isn’t I was just wondering. And what country are you in?

    40. Cool guy on May 14th, 2013 at 10:16 pm
    41. Hey Sasha. Have seen loads of your vids, and in my head I’m applauding. Every infield clip has something that makes me go “FUCK!!!!! He said WHAT?????”, in a good, good way.

      You know the UK. There’s stacks of us here who haven’t got US / Canadian Jewish fast talk and big balls, and could probably never get them – and it’s always bad to fake, natch. How full-on do you teach un-loud UK guys to be in their approaches? If you reply, please think and speak slowly – I’m goy.

      Am lousy at saying goodb

    42. David on September 7th, 2013 at 7:01 pm
    43. Hahaha….. Oi vei! Yeah everyone ultimately develops their own style of approach. I don’t force anyone to do things “Sasha Style” … I just take away people’s fear of approach/social pressure and give them basic conversational tools (and good mindsets) and they go and kick ass. I’ve had virgins, germans, indians, all sorts. They all do well if they put in the effort…. hope that helps ;)

      S

    44. Admin on September 21st, 2013 at 3:51 pm
    45. I’m female, and I just have to say that this is such a good article. Basically everything you said in on point. I’ve also realized some of my own behaviors through reading this article that I never noticed before. I always, always, always subconsciously walk away from guys that I like. However, I easily hold conversations with guys I’m not directly attracted to.

    46. Nigeria92692 on October 7th, 2013 at 6:25 pm
    47. Ha! I knew I was right!! YESSSSS!!!

      No, seriously though, cool that you commented…

      So do us all a favour sister, next time you like a guy – stick around for a few seconds and give the guy a chance!

      Maybe he’s been through one of my trainings, and won’t be so bad :P

      S

    48. Admin on October 8th, 2013 at 10:54 am
    49. [...] Why Girls Walk Away When They Like You | Sasha Daygame PUA Just got a fucking motivation [...]

    50. The story so far on June 13th, 2014 at 12:18 am

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